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  "But how could she say we are having an affair if I've only just arrived? I don't get it."

  Ryan leaned back in his chair, the corners of his sensual mouth curling into a sad smile. “A few months ago I was in Melbourne on a GP Refresher Course at the Royal Children's. The letter from Carol's lawyer today implied that we had met there and I was so besotted with you that I sacked my existing nurse so I could bring you here and we could continue our affair."

  Tara gasped at the sheer audacity of such a statement. Ryan was right. This was going to be a fight. She leaned forward.

  "Doctor Wade, can I ask if you have had affairs?"

  "It's Ryan and no, you can't ask."

  Tara hesitated. She knew her question had been very intrusive but she needed to know. His refusal to answer told its own story.

  "I won't blame you if you don't want to stay, Tara,” Ryan continued. “Your youth, our sharing a house, our inevitable closeness in working together, is all ammunition for Carol in gaining custody of the kids and from your point of view, would be harmful to your reputation."

  "Did David and Lauren realise that this could happen?"

  "They wouldn't have known about Carol wanting custody because we haven't heard from her in months. But they were aware that the living arrangements could be awkward. I have spoken to David and he said both he and Lauren thought your experience as a paediatric nurse was really important for both the children's sake and mine and that any potential problems could be overcome. They very much want you to stay."

  "Perhaps I can rent a room in the town somewhere?"

  "You could. But I'm afraid that won't suit me. As the position description said this role is more than just a nurse. It's also part nanny, part baby sitter. I need someone to live in that I can trust to look after Emma and Ben. My housekeeper Molly is fantastic with them and she covers the days but has her own family to go home to. I can't afford a new nurse and a live-in baby sitter and that's why I've made your salary so generous because of the added responsibility. Am I making sense?"

  Ryan pushed a hand through his hair in a sudden gesture of frustration and Tara fought the urge to stroke his lean cheek in an endeavour to give him comfort. This man was fighting not just for his livelihood but for the two people he loved most in the entire world—his children.

  "Will it be detrimental to your case if I stay?"

  "Everything will be detrimental to the case, but at the end of the day they will have to prove that I'm a bad father."

  Tara smiled. “And you're not,” she said with conviction.

  "No.” Ryan returned her smile and this time Tara's heart gave a great leap. No wonder there was so much gossip about Ryan. He was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen!

  She swallowed, feeling a lump rise in her throat. “Thanks for telling me all of this—I know how hard it must be to tell a stranger such private matters. I'd like to stay."

  There was silence as Ryan absorbed her words. Then he surprised Tara by catching her slender hand in his and stroking long fingers over her delicate skin. “Thank you,” he said softly. “I knew from the moment I saw you that you were a street fighter, Tara Mason."

  CHAPTER THREE

  "It's a much larger hospital than I realised,” Tara remarked as Ryan swung the vehicle into the parking spot in front of Marlston Hospital marked “Doctors Only."

  "Well, it's the regional base and covers a substantial area. There's a hundred beds and reasonable specialist services, with the big ones being cardiology, orthopaedics and aged and disability."

  He gave her a sideways glance as he switched off the engine. “You're sure about staying, Tara?"

  Hearing the doubt in his voice she turned to him giving a dazzling smile. No matter what the outcome, she had made her decision. There was no going back. “I'm sure. And don't worry about me letting you down because I won't. That's not my style."

  Ryan nodded. Getting from the vehicle, he walked around and opened her door before Tara could gather her thoughts. She hesitated before placing her hand in his outstretched one so he could help her down. Their eyes met and held and Tara's heart began to race. Oh, please don't let this be happening. Please don't let me be attracted to him.

  "I'm fine, thanks,” she said briskly, pushing her glasses further up her nose as she moved hastily away, placing a safe distance between them.

  Ryan retrieved his medical bag and slammed the car door. He has no idea of the effect he has on women. She watched him shrug on his jacket. Or did he? Perhaps having affairs was as natural as breathing to him?

  She walked beside him through the entrance and along the main corridor following the signs to the emergency department. There she met the Director and Nursing Unit Head, both of whom greeted her warmly. They were held up for some time as Ryan spoke with many of the staff and a couple of the patients in the waiting area. He obviously knew them all very well.

  Tara marvelled at the change in Ryan's character, from the brooding stillness she had seen earlier to the laughing, attractive man that everyone there seemed to gravitate towards.

  "Come on, Tara. I want to check on three of our patients and I'll introduce you to the ward staff at the same time,” he said, with a farewell wave to the emergency staff.

  Tara followed him through a maze of corridors and into Ward 4C. “Joe Thomas is recovering from a coronary by-pass,” he explained quietly as they stopped by an old gentleman's bed.

  "Doc Wade! How ya going? Come to see if I'm still alive and kicking?” Joe's craggy face lit up when he saw them.

  Ryan laughed, squatting on the side of the bed after motioning Tara to sit in the chair next to Joe. “You don't need to tell me you're doing well, Joe. You look one hundred percent better than when I last saw you."

  Joe gave a snort of indignation. “I'll be up and out of here in no time, mark my words, mate.” He turned to stare at Tara. “And who's this lovely lady? Are you Doc Wade's new woman?"

  Closing her mouth on an instant denial, Tara puzzled at this expression. Joe was the second person to use it. Was this how she would be known in the future? Wade's woman?

  Ryan saved her from answering. “This is Tara Mason, my new nurse. You had better be nice to her, Joe, because she'll be the one who will be checking on you when you go home and making sure you're behaving yourself."

  Joe cackled with delight. “Can't wait,” he said, with a wicked grin at Tara who couldn't resist laughing in response.

  "Now Joe, let's have a look at you.” Ryan helped the old man undo his pyjama buttons to expose an expanse of dressing covering a long scar down the centre of his breast bone. Pulling on surgical gloves from the holder on the wall, Ryan carefully lifted the dressing and examined the scar.

  "Not bad, Joe. Not bad at all,” he smiled and then, disposing with the gloves, he checked Joe's chart clipped to the end of the bed. “Joe's observations are pretty good, considering all he's been through,” he remarked to Tara. “We have an excellent cardiothoracic surgeon here but we get a bit frustrated when the patients don't help themselves."

  Ryan turned to Joe with a stern expression. “Now, when you go home it's no smoking, light on the grog, walks every day and keep to the diet you'll be given. Tara and I will be checking on you."

  The old man grinned again and caught hold of Tara's hand. “I don't want you around Doc; just visits from this pretty lady will keep me ol’ heart ticking."

  Tara laughed as she patted Joe's arm. “Be prepared, Joe. In my last job they used to call me the dragon, so you'd better watch out."

  She and Ryan left Joe in high spirits to visit Ryan's next patient, Lucy Granger. Ryan briefed Tara as they walked across to the private wing of the hospital.

  "Lucy is fifteen and has suffered severe bouts of depression for the past two years. I referred her to a psychiatrist early in her treatment, but things don't appear to have gone well. Unfortunately, Lucy is depressed at just about everything but particularly about her body image, and that she thinks she isn't accepted by her sch
ool friends."

  "Is she a manic depressive?"

  "The psychiatrist seems to think so and has her on anti-depressants, but I suspect she throws them away. Anyway, last night she tried to OD by taking her mother's sleeping tablets and then panicked and called me. That's where I'd been when you arrived."

  "I see.” That might explain Ryan's angry and harassed expression when he had seen her. He'd been fighting to save a young girl's life.

  "I got her to hospital in time but they had to pump her stomach. She's okay but probably feeling pretty sorry for herself."

  Tara steeled herself as they entered Lucy's room. She was an attractive girl with long, blonde hair and startlingly blue eyes. When she saw Ryan she blushed scarlet, her eyes following him across the room as he moved to stand by her bed.

  "Hi Lucy, this is my nurse, Tara Mason. Do you mind if she sits in while we have a chat?” Ryan smiled at Lucy who nodded her agreement, her eyes still clinging to Ryan's face.

  "I'm sorry, Doctor Wade. I didn't mean to do it.” She plunged into an excitable explanation, holding on to Ryan's arm as she spoke.

  Ryan reassured her, his hand touching her shining hair for a brief moment. “Lucy, you know this can't go on. You've everything to live for and your parents love you very much. They've been extremely worried about you."

  Lucy hung her head. “I know. I don't want to hurt them. Please help me, Ryan."

  Tara's eyes widened at the look of adoration on Lucy's face as she gazed up at Ryan. This young girl is besotted with him. Can't he see it?

  "Your psychiatrist will help you through this, Lucy. He may suggest that you spend a little time at the Adolescent Clinic at Westmead Hospital."

  Lucy's eyes instantly filled with tears. “I don't want to leave here,” she cried, tears pouring down her cheeks.

  Ryan sat in the chair next to the bed. “It will only be for a while and they'll help you to get better,” he said his voice low and comforting. “You have your whole life ahead of you, sweetie. Don't mess it up."

  Lucy wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “I'll only go because you say so."

  "Good girl. I knew you could do it.” Ryan stood up.

  "She's obsessed with you.” Tara couldn't help the words that tumbled from her lips as they made their way to the children's ward to visit Billy and Maggie.

  "Do you think I don't know that?” Ryan's tone was blunt.

  "Why don't you transfer her to another GP?” Tara wasn't going to start her new job at the practice by being intimidated by the senior partner.

  Ryan stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned to her. “I have already spoken to her parents and we're arranging to transfer her to a colleague of mine, here at Marlston."

  Tara stared into his dark, glittering eyes. It was imperative that she cleared the air.

  "Ryan, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but obviously as a newly divorced man you're in a vulnerable position with regard to your female patients."

  Ryan looked tired and strained. “I'm well aware of my situation Tara, but thanks for reminding me. Part of your role will involve being in attendance at annual checkups for female patients and unless otherwise agreed, I'd like you to perform any pap smears required."

  Tara could feel the colour rising in her face, but it wasn't because of what Ryan had asked. It was the sudden vision of him examining an attractive woman patient. Where were these thoughts coming from? He was a doctor and these intimacies meant nothing to him. And yet they might mean something to some of the women, which was why Ryan was setting these procedures in place.

  "I understand,” she replied, her voice subdued.

  "As for living with me, we've been through the likely problems. Unless you've changed your mind, I guess we'll just have to cope with any fallout as it happens.” Ryan was now brisk and business-like.

  Tara's voice was thoughtful when she responded. “I'm sure the courts would let you keep the children if you were married and proved you were providing a family unit for them, Ryan. After all, Carol was the one who left them and I don't think the judge will take kindly to that."

  "Well, I'm not married so I guess that's a big, black mark against me.” He hesitated for a moment before continuing. “Of course, there is a way out."

  Tara's eyes flicked to his face. “What?"

  "We could marry.” Ryan laughed.

  "You are joking?"

  Ryan shook his head in denial and then caught her arm, moving her to one side to allow three nurses to pass, all of them turning to stare curiously at them standing in the middle of the corridor so deeply in discussion.

  "Come on. We'll go and see Maggie and Billy and then talk about this in the car."

  Tara followed him to he children's ward where she half listened as Ryan met with Maggie and the specialist doctor treating Billy. Her mind was numb, shocked at Ryan's suggestion. How desperate he must be to consider asking such a thing. And yet to marry him would be the answer to her prayers. She would be able to stay here. She would have Ryan's protection—and his name.

  "I don't think it will be too long before they find out what Billy's problem is,” Ryan remarked as they made their way through the hospital towards the car park. “He's allergic to something and I wouldn't mind betting it's his new kitten which has triggered that attack. Unfortunately, it means he could be allergic to quite a few things."

  Tara murmured agreement. She felt her nerves tensing like piano wires as she climbed into the vehicle. Ryan turned to face her, his arm resting along the back of the seat behind Tara's head.

  "Now, let's talk. I'm sorry that I took you by surprise, Tara. I really only thought of it as you were talking about my situation with Carol."

  "I realise that. I hardly think you had this idea in mind before I moved here.” Her manner was matter-of-fact and suddenly it was important to him to convince her that he was serious.

  "This could be part of the contract between us,” he suggested. “We have a marriage that is a business arrangement in name only, for twelve months. This will help me to present to the courts a united, caring family unit for Emma and Ben."

  "And what do I get out of it?"

  "Security."

  Tara frowned. “You'll need to expand on that. Are you talking about job security, or taking your name? What?"

  Ryan watched her eyes behind her glasses, shadowed with deep secrets. Something was very wrong here. He neatly avoided her questions.

  "Your qualifications show that you're a first class nurse and my practice needs you. I think you would provide a loving, stable background for Emma and Ben. Our marriage would stop any gossip about us."

  Ryan felt the urge to laugh again. He couldn't believe that he was saying this—propositioning this woman. The idea was ludicrous and completely out of character for him and yet, still he continued digging himself more deeply into the hole he'd created.

  "When the court case is finalised, and hopefully it will go in my favour, then we can get a quiet divorce and you can move on.” His eyes were drawn to her lower lip and he watched her small, white teeth bite down in an attempt to stop it trembling. She was a lot more worked up than she was letting on. There was something she was hiding and he decided to investigate further.

  "What are you running away from, Tara? Are you in trouble with the police?"

  "No!” Tara shook her head vigorously, a look of horror on her face.

  "Then what? Is it man trouble?"

  Her expression told him he'd struck gold but the sudden anger burning in him took him by surprise. Who was this guy and what had he done to Tara to make her so afraid?

  "I'm sorry, but I don't want to explain the details. Suffice to say that I have left that life behind and I need a new start. I admit I need security—but, marriage? That's another thing!"

  Ryan touched her arm. “I will make a happy home life for you, Tara. You won't regret marrying me."

  "I'm sorry, Ryan. We don't even know each other. It would look very strange for you to marry yo
ur new nurse after knowing her for one day."

  "But people could think we met in Melbourne when I was doing my refresher course. Carol already thinks that.” Ryan watched her hands ball into tight fists of indecision as he made a last plea.

  "No ... no, Ryan. I'm not into this sort of ‘business contract’ as you call it. I'm sorry that you're in trouble, but please don't use me to sort out your problems. Besides, your children will become attached to me as a mother figure only to lose me when this marriage contract is terminated."

  "That would happen anyway, even if we don't marry,” Ryan shot back.

  There was silence as their eyes locked. The more she refused his offer of marriage, the more determined he felt to pursue it. He studied the pale column of her throat and the too thin collarbones showing above the V-neckline of her jumper. Someone had hurt Tara, hurt her badly. He could see it now in her eyes raw with pain. Why hadn't he noticed it before? He must be blind. Why hadn't David and Lauren noticed it when they had interviewed her?

  He had to admit it was ridiculous of him to come up with such an idea. He was letting Carol's threat to take the kids override his usual sound judgement. His stomach churned at the thought of never seeing his kids again.

  He could see a glint of tears in her eyes and felt a terrible tenderness inside as he cupped her face with his hand. “Let's pretend we never had this conversation,” he said quietly.

  "I'm sorry I can't accept.” The words held finality.

  Ryan shrugged and turning started the vehicle. “Okay, time to get home. Molly will want to leave soon so I'll have to face two hungry children shouting for their tea."

  "I'll help you.” Tara turned away, looking out of the window.

  Ryan drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as they drove through the gathering dusk on the way to Glenroy Crossing. Tara had thrown him, to say the least. He couldn't blame her for rejecting the idea of marriage, but he couldn't get out of his mind that she was running away from serious trouble. He had enough on his plate without worrying about some irate boyfriend turning up on the doorstep. And yet, there was some sense in his proposition. The court would be more kindly disposed to him if he was married. But to have Tara as his wife—in name only? Of course, it wouldn't work. She was a very attractive woman. As it was, he could be making a mistake in having her live with him.